


Christmas Island Memoirs

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood, Christmas Island, F/F, Goat, crackfic, implied sex, tw produce section
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 02:59:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9414974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	

Everyone in the grocery store was dead.

Meenah walked past the produce section, where the remains of several schoolgirls lay strewn all over the place.

She grabs the last carton of milk.

It's a week past it's expiration date.

She screams and slams it against a wall.

She walks away and she can hear sizzling in the background.

\- - - 

She never feels comfortable here.

There's statues of Egyptian gods and other ominous crap taking up most of the space in this broken-ass church.

"Jesus christ, Damara, why do you have all this shit?"

Damara is kneeling down near a boiling pot. She turns to stare at her, then looks back to the pot. 

"Not going to dignify that with a response, huh? You are a real beach, ain'tcha?"

Damara scoops whatever was in the pot into a bowl.

"Dinner ready." She says, handing Meenah the bowl.

An overcooked rat, some poor quality vegetables and some slightly green meat.

Meenah shrugged, and began eating.

\- - - 

There was a box with a giant phallus statue inside at the door.

"Gamzee, your package is here.

\- - -

"Christmas Island has the hugest fuckload of crabs, y'know? They crawlin' all over the motherglubbin beaches and shit and crawlin' onto roads and causin accidents and shit. Which is fuckin' weird, you wouldn't think they have cars in that bitch-ass island. They speak Malay, English and Chinese over there."

Damara sighs audibly.

"Hey, imagine if someone was all murdered and shit over there. What a headline. Twelve dead on Christmas Island. No, they're not reindeers. What are you, stupid?"

"Meenah. Shhh."

"Sorry." she grumbled.

\- - - 

Meenah walks in with a peppermint stick in her mouth and a piece of flesh missing from her abdomen. She's wearing a santa hat.

"Ayy Dams, guess where I've been."

\- - - 

Meenah sat naked on the giant mushroom, holding a baby goat.

A cigar is burning in a ashtray. There are several empty pizza boxes discarded on the floor.

"...Why?"

Damara lowers her light box camera.

"It makes a beautiful statement."

"I hate you. Get over here."

\- - -

Fifteen minutes in, and Meenah can hear Gamzee say something to the effect of "Aww, geez you guys, you're all up and scaring the motherfucking goat. Get you motherfucking tops on, we've got a chinese restaurant to pillage."


End file.
